So last night a friend of mine and I went to a seminar/discussion with Jeff Galloway. I have being hearing about Jeff Galloway for at least 6 months now because of the Disneyland half marathon in September. He was one of their key speakers at the expo and I have been wanting to hear him talk. With Tinkerbell this weekend I was excited to see that he again is on the schedule for talking at the expo, but unfortunately I wasn’t going to be in Anaheim in time to hear him talk, but then…like magic it turns out that he was in San Diego for a talk that I could go to.
Jeff Galloway is one of these people who can just fire you up about running. He is so passionate and it almost feels like he wants you, individually, to run well and without injury. His whole philosophy is a run-walk-run strategy. At first I was not buying it. I really love to run and telling me that I will run faster if I walk part really didn’t make sense to me. He started the talk with just the basics of his program and where he came from. (He was an Olympic runner, so he must know something about running, and running fast?!) Then after only about 10 or 15 minutes he just took questions from the audience. Luckily it was a smallish group of us and the questions that were presented were all pretty relevant to everyone, with the except of a couple people asking very specific questions about themselves.
A couple of weeks ago Maureen and I decided to kind of try out his method before we actually went to hear him talk. So we ran 10 miles and stopped and walked every 10 minutes to walk for 1 minute. For Maureen we actually ran the 10 miles in the fastest amount of time she has ever run it. And we ran it and really didn’t feel quite as tired as usual…interesting?!
Ok, so back to the method. Jeff says that if you want to keep a 9 minute pace you should use a 4 to 1 ratio…run 4 minutes and then walk just 1 minute. By doing this you are keeping your muscles fresh each time you start again after the 1 minute walk break. It should make you feel less tired and able to finish the last 1/3 of the race without stopping and finish fast! Ok so I am still a bit skeptical, but I really think it will be interesting to try out.
My main goal for Tinkerbell and every race is also to finish, but along with that I really would love to run in under 2 hours. Las Vegas was 2:01 so TinkerBell watch out…hope I can do it!
So I officially have not run in over a week. Make that 1 week and 2 days…ugh. I ran 10 miles a week ago Saturday. It was a beautiful run. Mission Beach, the Catarman, Ocean and the Bay all mixed in one. I thought pretty much the whole way, “why don’t I run this more often?” The weather was perfect as well, which just made it all the better. Anyway that was a week and 2 days ago.
During my run I felt that my ankle was starting to hurt…just a little nagging, but I knew deep down this wasn’t good. I do most, if not all my training at the track or the streets between my house and the track. I thought well 10 miles I would change it up a bit, but low and behold…concrete…the KILLER! The ground is just not made for runners. There is nothing to absorb the shock of the ground and goes directly back up into the body…bummer.
That being said I rested a few days afterward hoping that the pain was going to go away, but I knew after a day or so that my heel was actually not sitting right. Luckily have an amazing doctor who I knew would not tell me not to run, but rather fix me up in order to run again sooner. Off I went to see Dr. Allen. He literally pulled on my foot and put my heel back into the correct spot and moved the bones in my feet to their correct spot and now after a few sore days I am back in business! I still have not officially run, but I have taken a few good walks and have had no pain in the ankle or foot.
TinkerBell 1/2 Marathon is less than a week away and I could not be more excited to put my running shoes on and take the 13.1 challenge once again through the streets of Disneyland. I am hoping the weather holds up and no rain even though I am pretty sure I am going to freeze, but either way it is the happiest place on earth right?!
So I have found myself reading all kinds of blogs lately. Some are people I know and some are ones that I have just stumbled upon. It is so strange how diverse blogs can really be. It really is a mystery to me why I write a blog and who the heck would even read it or why they would read it. I feel like the blogs I end up reading are me just being nosey about other people or it is because I need advice on something and someone wrote it in their blog so it must me interesting to read…I guess anyway you look at it a blog can be just about anything!
So why is it that every time you want to start a new project it is one step forward and fifteen steps backwards? My family has had a box of home videos on VHS for sometime (well actually like 20 years). I read somewhere like 5 or 6 years ago that VHS tapes only last 15 to 20 years so I began to panic that I must do something soon or those memories will be all gone. ( Too bad it took me 5 to 6 years to do something quick.) It wasn’t until recently when I began transferring those tapes that I realized that maybe the tapes being no good would have been a good thing…the 80’s were not kind…hehehe).
Anyway we started at Costco and found out it would be over $300 to transfer the movies to DVD and then we would still have to go through those DVDs and have to organize and transfer them yet again into any form of movie with an appropriate time line. Then it was off to buy the converter. This little machine plugs into a VCR and then runs the movies onto your computer where they are stored (taking up lots of room on the hard drive) and then you get so see all of the lovely memories in color and sound. Easy enough! I’ll do it…no problem…
Well that was the first problem. As I look at the box of VHS tapes sitting on the office floor I figure they will be there at least…3 months. The tapes are old and have no tracking on them so most tapes come out with terrible sound and no tracking. Others have no sound and great pictures…and another just doesn’t play and the VCR makes a choking sound (what the Hell does that mean.)
I figure after about 3 months of organizing and watching terribly old, bad movies I may end up with about 2 hours of material that…well..no one will want to watch!
So after almost seven years a family friend of ours had a baby. A perfect baby boy 6 pounds 11 oz. She had a lot of bumps in the road, but as of 9PM last night her dreams came true. It is the best feeling to hear the news and know that everything finally worked out for her and she is well on her way to the world of motherhood.
As I was thinking of her and reading facebook last night there was a you tube video that I came across that was just so fitting and really touched me.
I am always telling my mom it is so comforting to hear stories from other moms and their struggles and triumphs so this message just seemed to fit perfectly.
As I scrolled down and looked at more entries another mom had a blog entry that I just couldn’t put down:
“Every time I’m out with my kids – this seems to happen:
An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, “Oh- Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast.”
Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy everysecond, etc, etc, etc.
I know that this message is right and good. But as 2011 closes, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn’t work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life – while I’m raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong.
I think parenting young children (and old ones, I’ve heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they’ve heard there’s magic in the climb. They try because they believethat finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it’s hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.
And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers – “ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU’LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN’T!” TRUST US!! IT’LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!” - those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.
Now. I’m not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: “Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast.”
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feather stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras.I couldn’t find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, “Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you.”
That’s not exactly what I wanted to say, though.
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, “No. but I love having written.” What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, “Are you sure?Are you sure you don’t mean you love having parented?”
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I’m being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times – G, if you can’t handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don’t think it’s quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it’s hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she’s not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn’t add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it’s so hard means she IS doing it right…in her own way…and she happens to be honest.
Craig is a software salesman. It’s a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don’t ever feel the need to suggest that he’s not doing it right, or that he’s negative for noticing that it’s hard, or that maybe he shouldn’t even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he’s ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: “This career stuff…it goes by so fast…ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!”
My point is this. I used to worry that not onlywas I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn’t enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn’t in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn’t MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I’d wake up and the kids would be gone, and I’d be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here’s what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
“It’s helluva hard, isn’t it? You’re a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She’s my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime.” And hopefully, every once in a while, I’ll add- “Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up- I’ll have them bring your groceries out.”
Anyway. Clearly,Carpe Diemdoesn’t work for me.I can’t even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.
Here’s what does work for me:
There are two different types of time. Chronostime is what we live in. It’s regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronosis the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there’s Kairos time. Kairos is God’s time. It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. It’s those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
Like when I actually stop what I’m doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her softTishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can’t hear her because all I can think is – This is the first time I’ve really seen Tish all day, and my God – she is so beautiful.Kairos.
Like when I’m stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I’m haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I’m transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I’ll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world’s mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.
Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.
These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairosin my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don’t remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.
If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.
So as the new year is starting so is all the craziness with school schedules, birthday parties and Barret traveling around like a mad man trying to get ahead of the game!
This week was supposed to be my catch up week, but needless to say it has been my well….a week from HELL… I shouldn’t say that, but it has been a challenge. Barret left for Lake Tahoe for some staff enrichment (whatever that mean) and Druw and Cole have been sick since Tuesday. Lucky for me they waited until Tuesday because I spent Monday night hunched over the toilet puking…
Now it is Thursday… no school for Druw all week, 102 temperatures, but Cole is on antibiotics now and I think we may finally be on the mend! Is it summer yet? I don’t love this winter cold season months…ugh.
Moving onto more exciting things…I may have mentioned before about my Krazy couponing habit that I am just loving…(BTW I spent $1.98…on about $43 worth of products today…and yes actually things I needed or well wanted!) Anyway there is this new app called Shopkick that I just heard about that scores you points by walking into certain stores and then scanning products…sounds like so much fun. I can’t wait to try it out! And Yes, I did say Krazy!
So as one of my New Year’s resolutions I decided I would write! So here I am and I decided that the best way to start this year is just to write a year in review of what happened last year…
January 2011 we met the Presdient of the United States…
SERIOUSLY…No, but really we went to Hollywood. Had a blast at the wax museum and meeting all the crazies on the streets of Hollywood.
Then 2011 really started off in the happiest place on earth…DISNEYLAND! Yes, I said it, we had taken three small children into the park at 8AM and kept them there until after 12 midnight (because you know you cannot leave the park because there is a chance you cannot return because of the crowds…) Hardcore New years!!! That is why every other year we have decided not to do anything for New Years…I think it takes Barret that long to recover from my crazy ideas!
January 3rd was the first date that I could sign up for the Disneyland Half marathon. So as of January the addiction to running really began!
Not long after that it was time to plan a few birthday parties and our next trip.
February 2011
(I guess the year in review will be added a little at a time…)
So for some reason I think about this blog all the time. I often write entries in my head, but never have time to actually sit down and write something. Another thing I think about is that I have to write about something other people care about or will want to read, but after months of not writing I decided I was going to write for me. Every entry may not be good or even interesting, but it will be written because I felt like writing it!
So the time changed on Saturday night. I just can’t get the hang of it yet. I went to sleep last night at 8:00pm and consequently I was up watching Desperate Housewives at 4:00am this morning…ugh… And what makes it worse is that Druw was awake for the second half watching it with me and asking a million questions that I had no interest in answering.
Ok and as a side note I have totally turned into a Krazy Coupon Lady. Yes, I follow blogs and read lots of information on extreme couponing. For me it is fun. I love to get a bargain. It is almost a high…not a runners high, but a great feeling to get a good deal!
So after school drop off today Cole and I hit up CVS, Vons and Target. Free greeting cards at CVS and 39 cent lego sets at Target not a bad deal. At Vons I found some diapers on clearance…SCORE! With coupons and sale price I got 3 packages of diapers for less than $10! Not bad for a morning and I got to spend it with Cole!
So if you don’t run, it may be hard to understand a runner’s high. It is the most incredible feeling…especially after a long run. My favorite is running mile after mile and seeing new places on foot and checking out neighborhoods that I have driven by a million times and seeing things that I had never noticed before. I love the quiet calm of running. The air again your skin as you race forward to your goal. Sometimes I listen to music and take in every word that maybe I hadn’t heard before. Sometimes I get lost in where I am or what thoughts are running through my head. Sometimes I try to stay very focused and in the moment so that I keep good form and don’t lose my cadence. Whatever I am doing or not doing, all I know is that when I am done…it is a great feeling!
This past weekend I ran my first 1/2 marathon 13.1 miles! 10 weeks of training, 5 appointments with the doctor and lots of miles tracked, I did it. I crossed the finish line at 2 hrs 11 min. OK so part of me wishes it was 2 hrs 10 minutes, but I feel like now I have room to improve. To most people who don’t run, they continually ask why I run and why after injury it is important to get beck out and run, but the reality is the fact that I am selfish and I love the runners high!
So why is it that when someone says you have to rest, I am not smiling and saying “OK, that sounds like a great idea…maybe I could do some sewing or get caught up and everything that I have been neglecting for the past 12 months.” No that is not my attitude at all. I do not want to rest….I want to RUN!
I ran 11.11 miles 11 days ago and I have not run since. The 11 mile run was great, outstanding, and most of all fun! But, there it is the big BUT…around mile 8 my knee started to ache. I can deal with an ache. No pain, not sharp tingling or anything in the knee or leg just a nagging ache. When I got home I decided to put ice on it just in case it wanted to be more than an ache, but well that didn’t do anything but start the process of, “You have to rest.” After i took the ice off the leg it immediately stiffened up and I was walking like my leg was a telephone pole…LAME…literally! I was keeping the right thought and did nothing Monday or Tuesday, rest.
I decided that Tuesday night I would call a friend of mine who is a Physical Therapist and just get an opinion on what he thought. Was I was going to be able to run the race or should I call the doctor or what should I to do. He did not give me all the great answers I wanted like, “It just looks a little sore, give it a few days and you will be running again in no time.” No, that did not happen, so then I need to find someone who would say that so I could continue along my training.
Dr. Runco and Dr. Allen were the closest thing to the answer I wanted. I made an appointment on Wednesday and saw the doctor that afternoon. He pretty much took one look at me and knew what the problem was and asked if I wanted a treatment to help with the healing process and get this thing moving forward. Of course I wanted it to get better so treatment here I come!
Next thing I know my leg is hooked up to a machine that is sending electronic current to the hurt area and an ultrasound that is just waking up my muscles in my knee. It was a very strange experience, but it seemed to help a little. He also taped my knee up because apparently there is a bruise underneath my knee cap that is causing some of the discomfort and this way the knee cap is not coming into direct contact with the bruise. I have now had 2 treatments and many miles on the elliptical and I keeping the right thought about this race.
As I lay in bed tonight I will be thinking of the tenderness and ache melting away leaving a strong powerful, running leg in its place! (Fingers crossed someone is listening… I want to run!)
My name is Leah and I am a mother of three boys, Jake who is 6 and Druw is 4 and Cole is 1 year. With 3 boys everyday is an adventure.
I love to run to keep my sanity and I coupon to afford the races I want to complete.
